My back is towards him. Laying in the dimness of night. Street lights are casting in through the window, creating sepia.
Husband traces my neck, brushes my hair away, revealing skin. He glides his hand down my shoulder, the curve of my side to find hip, then pulls me in. Near.
"No one can tell me beauty is anything else", he whispers in my ear.
He believes this wholeheartedly. I don't doubt it.
But there is something in my own heart that I can't quite put my finger on.
It keeps me from believing, seeing it that way for myself.
My beauty through his eyes.
How precious are his thoughts, if I'd only accept them.
It's a natural default for me, to disregard my beauty.
An area where I still wage war.
I think one of the greatest gifts we could give to our husbands is to believe them, when they tell us we're beautiful. When they tell us we're stunning. Gorgeous. Captivating. Alluring. Exquisite.
When they affirm us, lets not shrug it off. Lets believe.
His breath is warm, "Sometimes I look at you and don't even know the words to say... you are too beautiful for words. Nothing could compare".
I believe he's telling me the truth according to him.
It's just not truth according to me.
I breathe deep. Pause. Peal back the unbelief.
"Thank you", is all that comes to my lips.
I'm learning that true intimacy comes when we reveal the vulnerable parts of who we are to the ones we love. When they see the ugly and still find us lovely.
I turn over.
Midnight moon peeking in through the curtains.
Casting soft dim light across his face.
His eyes say it all, they always have.... I am his beloved.
It's in those moments I cry out a silent & simple prayer that can cover so much...
"LORD, help me overcome my unbelief!"
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, that I am well aware.
Desired. Cherished. Held dear.
It's my own heart that needs to be overhauled and revamped to see my elegance. Fairness.
To understand and receive that I've been designed and fashioned to be loved deeply, known intimately, and seen with eyes that behold my beauty.
I still struggle with this and never believe my husband when he compliments me. Thank you for this post. xo
ReplyDelete"It's my own heart that needs to be overhauled and revamped to see my elegance. Fairness.
ReplyDeleteTo understand and receive that I've been designed and fashioned to be loved deeply, known intimately, and seen with eyes that behold my beauty."
Ugh. Me. Too.
Blech.
So much to still chisel away on this stoney heart. Thanks for sharing.
What a wonderful reminder. I struggle with this in all areas, not just with the compliments my husband gives, but anyone. I not only do not believe them or agree with them, but I will almost always follow up a compliment with a depreciating comment about myself. That drives my husband crazy, and I'm trying to get better at just saying thank you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDeletePraise the Lord for his healing and redeeming work in your life. He is teaching you things that no earthly source could. I stand firm on the truth that you are my definition of lovely.
ReplyDeleteHusband...
I have a hard time accepting my husband's compliments too. I just don't believe that I'm beautiful, even though I want to be. I'm trying to learn to say thank you, but I still struggle to even do that. It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this.
ReplyDeleteWow Manda. That is so beautiful!! It gave me chills.
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful!!! And yes, I can totally relate. Thankyou for popping in to my blog Manda, it's so nice to meet you. I think I'll enjoy checking out more of your blog. Blessings!! :)
ReplyDeletewhat a gorgeous post
ReplyDeleteobviously written by a gorgeous woman
I was brought here today via "a Homemakers Heart" by Tea
So glad I took her up on her directions
this is such a spiritual struggle...one the is always trying to over shadow me
and yet we are the crowning glory of creation Itself
walking through this journey of self love with you
love and light