A time to Stand up...

It all started in Jr. high.

I became a "mean girl".

I clothed myself in an attitude of high ranking along with the lastest fashion. I controlled people with my words and popularity. I embraced social hierarchies. I absorbed the drama in others lives as my entertainment.

I scoffed and ridiculed the weak.

I would walk those halls as if I ruled them. Preying on others insecurities to cover up my own. Pointing out others faults so no one would see mine.

I would tease. Taunt.

It was rare that someone would stand up to me. I was a bully.

It gave me a sense of power. Control.

I was a mean girl.

I disliked that part of me.

It was my cover-up.

My mask to hid the hurt.

The self-doubt.

It wasn't until later in high school that I realized how badly I was damaging people as well as myself.

I stopped with the games. I stopped being fake.

I took off the false image. Discarded the facade.

But there are days when "mean girl" wants to come creeping back in. No longer with her clique, she arrives quietly. She slithers in unnoticed. Bathing in pride. Dressed in envy.

There are times I barely notice her. Pointing the finger. Speaking under breath with her hot destain. Feeling the need to give "opinions" or "justifications". Stating her superiority. Believing the lies and assumptions without seeking truth. Judging and cursing.

She's sneaky. Tricky. Self-absorbed.

Chills radiate my spin when I recognize her attempts to rule again.

I take my stand on the solid rock of truth and I fight back...

I bow head and pray.

I want to be so much more then the insecure, disguised little girl hiding behind the doubt.

I bow head and pray.

I want to be a woman clothed in dignity and honour. Speaking life. Not death.

I bow head and pray.

I want to be a worthy example to my own. That popularity is fleeting, and so are todays trends. Here one day. Gone the next. Be who you were meant to be.

Simply bow head and pray.